January 2010
145 posts
Ooo Ooo Oooo Ooo Shu Be Du
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Lies I tell my dog...
You have a microchip implanted in you that tells the world that you belong to me.
(pause)
Just kidding.
(but I’m not)
This makes her sad.
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“Blood alone moves the wheels of history! Have you ever asked yourselves in an...”
– Dwight Schrute
Facts!
I am a bad plumber.
The evidence-
I attempted to fix a leaky drain last Saturday. A simple enough procedure. One that countless folks can complete with ease and little to no hassle.
One hour into the stated repair, I had to call in reinforcements in the form of a more qualified and gracious friend. The affair ended after a blow torch and many curses had been used.
Next week: carpentry
(My...
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Facts!
Does it change your opinion of an artist when you find out they are the gay?
Let’s face it, we’re none of us the same, and for the most part we’re all insane. (I mean look at the Buddhists!) But when one of you’re favorite singers says they swing on the other branches, is that really going to change your reception of their songs? Pop music is mostly songs and singing for...
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Lies I tell my dog...
I take you running every morning because you’re in training for the dog olympics were you will have to compete in events against the dogs of the former Soviet Union. Those dogs all use steroids and have fits of rage and drool when they pass babies. The dog olympics are held on dog island. No, it’s not the same dog island that’s run by cats. ( it is.)
This makes her indignant.
(stupid cheating...
Thoughts!
“Robert Redford is fucking cool.”
(The only thought I have while watching Spy Game.)
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How will we know your silhouette?
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The Truth!
Question:
Is Vampire Weekend a mediocre ska band making a career out of imitating Paul Simon?
Answer:
Bingo
(I wish more bands did this)
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I always get chocolate stains on my pants.
There are so many people I want to... →
